Keeping It Simple: Nicole’s Story
In our series, “Mom’s Story,” members of our community share snapshots of their real, personal journeys through motherhood. Every story is different. We ask all members to be respectful in their comments on these posts. Offensive or disparaging remarks will not be tolerated.
As a new mother, my motivation to be successful has never been higher. My priorities have changed as I discover my eyes, mind and heart are primarily focused on what I can do to be the best mother I can be and give my child the best life possible.
Social media always directs me to posts and articles regarding every little facet of raising a child, from many different schools of thought. Sometimes I feel lost in the clutter, and I struggle with feeling like I don’t do my child justice because I don’t research 97 ways to do everything. The pressure can make me feel like a total idiot and an incompetent parent.
But loving your child is simple. We overcomplicate it and we’re too hard on ourselves, especially as first time moms. We think we are walking disasters, when in fact, we are doing things perfectly well. I don’t let myself “sweat the small stuff” or over-analyze each day, action or milestone.
Keeping it simple has been a lifesaver for me. I came home just 3 hours after I had my son. He was born at a birth center and we were discharged as soon as we were stable and cleaned up. I was quickly back in my own comfortable bed, in my own pajamas, with my newly expanded family. Our friends showed up shortly after we arrived with a piping hot pizza pie from my favorite local joint, and we rested in the comforts of home.
As the days went on, there was an influx of family and friends that traveled to California to help me since my husband had to go back to work right away. Then after a few weeks, I was back to being on my own. It had the potential to be overwhelming, but I did my best to set close to no expectations for myself and really guard that initial time with my boy. Some days I stayed in my robe all day, breastfeeding and watching Netflix, just enjoying having him in my arms.
I battled with postpartum depression a bit, probably due to being by myself most of the time. But I found that venturing out for neighborhood walks and trips to the grocery store gave me the boost I needed to feel human again and get through the day.
The lactation support I received from Linda Hanna enabled me to breastfeed successfully, and it also enabled me to accept when my body had done all it could do. Linda helped me overcome obstacles and she also helped me accept my situation when my breastfeeding journey was ending. She validated my efforts and never once made me feel like a failure. Every visit left me feeling confident and at peace with myself and my baby’s progress.
Mothers out there – YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB! Look into the practice of speaking affirmations to yourself. My mentor worked with me a lot on this and it has changed everything about the way I see myself, others, the world and my situation.
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