Dear Babysitter

This is our first time away from the baby and though you are totally competent, I mean, overqualified, there are a few things I wanted you to know.

One, please feel free to text us if there’s a problem. Like if she doesn’t take the bottle or seems gassy. Or if she cries. Or doesn’t cry. Maybe just text us regardless. Pictures put our mind at ease. So take photos, lots of photos. And we are always just a Facetime call away if you want to chat. The restaurant we are eating at has great cell service. Trust me, we scouted out the location in advance. So hey, give us a ring at your earliest convenience.

I know you don’t want to bother us while we are out, and you joked that we should talk about non-baby things, but we are just excited to be out of the house together, wearing semi-clean clothes, with other grown-up people. I’m going to ride in the front seat. And wear a shirt I can’t nurse in. Long earrings that no baby will pull. I’m going to drink wine in a goblet glass I won’t have to worry about any little hands knocking over. We might as well be on a five-star Tahitian holiday in paradise, that’s how fancy I felt getting ready.

Never mind the fact that I already cried twice in the bathroom, debating on whether or not we should leave. My husband insists she won’t have abandonment issues from one dinner away. I insist he promise not to order appetizers or dessert. We’ve come to the agreement that we will go. Just come back a bit early. So here’s the money in advance for the three hours we originally said we’d be out, but we’ll see you at 7:45 the latest.

Oh and the number to the pediatrician is on the fridge. You know, just in case of an emergency. But come to think of it, sometimes the doctor talks like we are overreacting, first time parents. So if anything, just call us and 911 directly.

Thanks so much!
This totally chill Mom